WARNING WRAPPED IN A DREAM

Dreaming is my favorite pastime while sleeping!  Seems like a silly thing to say, but it’s true.  Some folks dream in black and white, but I dream in full technicolor!  Four and a half years ago, after many years of chronic illness with an incurable lung disease and Sjogren’s Auto Immune Disorder, I overdosed on Valium.  By a miracle of God I was found in my home, and resuscitated at the hospital.  After seven days in the hospital I returned home to recover fully from double pneumonia, and to go through the painful process of withdrawal from benzodiazepines.  Fifteen years of using Valium prescribed by a psychiatrist for a panic disorder had done me no favors.  For three months I was bedridden, and the sickest I’ve ever been in my life.  So it may sound astounding to say I was also the closest to God I’ve ever been during those three months, but it’s the truth.  God’s presence was palpable in my bedroom!  What a joyous time of fellowship I had with my Lord during this time of healing.  And God gave me a warning in a powerful dream!

My dreams took on incredible significance while recovering, but one dream in particular shook me to my core.  I found myself walking through an old barn with huge double doors at both ends.  To my surprise no animals were housed in this barn.  Rather, it was filled with row after row of vintage costumes and hats from many different periods of American history.   My mother and father (both Depression Era survivors) spent their adult years collecting many different things.  In my dream this barn housed just one of many collections, and it was breath taking.  Neither of my parents could care for this collection so I was given the opportunity to pick out anything I wanted for myself.  I was unaware there were others who’d also been given the honor of selecting items.  

I had my own small collection of costumes and hats, but nothing as all inclusive as this collection.  With eyes wide I slowly walked between the shelves which seemed to climb to the roof of the barn filled with these elaborate and beautiful items of clothing and accessories.  I let my hands pass over one velvet dress after another, admiring the lavish detailing, embroidery and frills adorning every piece.  The hats, gloves, ladies fans, and parasols begged for my attention as well.  Which should I take, and which should I leave behind?  So many wonderful choices!  A joyous problem to have.  I couldn’t have been happier at that moment. 

An hour or more went by when I noticed smoke filling the ceiling of the barn and quickly dropping down to eye level.  Somewhere in this ancient building a fire had broken out.  It had to be a big fire to fill the barn with thick smoke so quickly.  That’s when I noticed other people were as engrossed in selecting costumes as I was.  Immediately I ran from section to section shouting at people to leave immediately.  This barn was so old I knew it would go up in flames quickly.  There was not a moment to waste in getting these people out of the blazing barn.  

When the last person was safely out I ran back into the barn to see for certain there was no one still inside.  But I became mesmerized once again by these pieces of antiquity.  I must save this feathered hat, that brocade dress, this cameo broach, that pair of sequined pumps . . . Feverish behavior enveloped me.  One thing after another drew my attention, and blinded me to the imminent danger I was putting myself in.  

I heard the sound of the massive doors at the one entrance being slammed shut.  No one had seen me run back into the burning barn so the crowd decided it was best to seal the doors shut.  I panicked as I finally noticed the smoke at ground level and how little visibility was left to escape.  I took one last look of longing at the treasures about to go up in smoke and flames.  With all the lung power in me I took a deep breath from ground level, blindly running for the last doors at the other end of the barn.  Would I make it before they closed the doors?  I slammed into the last open door which was only open by a slim crack.  I mustered all my strength and squeezed through that tiny opening.  Gasping for fresh air I fell to the ground once I was a safe distance from the now blazing building.  

Horrified at how close I had come to loosing my life because of the overwhelming desire for material things, I was astounded at my self destructive choice to go back into that inferno.  I awoke from that vivid dream with a clear warning from God.  Material things could easily be my downfall.  God showed me if I release the desire for things I will live a long life.  Ignore this warning at my peril.  I look at possessions very differently now.  I am reminded daily of the scriptural mandate to not put your trust in things that moth and rust can destroy.  Focus on acquiring eternal rewards in heaven that cannot be lost.

What is in YOUR life that might be keeping you from focusing on "things" instead of on "things of God"? 

LOOSING A BELOVED PET

Our 12 year old Norwegian Elkhound, Mooksa, became very ill suddenly on the Friday before the New Year's celebrations.  We've lost two other Norwegian Elkhounds at the age of 12 years so we were afraid she wouldn't recover from this.  Her hips cause her terrible pain, and she can barely walk as it is.  So this is not necessarily a bad thing if she passes on now.  We're taking her to the vet on Monday, January 2nd, to see what he says.  We don't want her to suffer unnecessarily if there's nothing to be done.  We may be making a big decision on Monday. 

I'm not sure she'll make it through the night.  She's refusing to move from a "cave" out in the back.  She's refused two rides which she loves to go on.   She hasn't eaten, and will only drink water that Jay offers her.  Jay goes out to check on her every 30 minutes.  He just put a blanket on her because the temperature outside is dropping, and he put a light out there.  Why does dying have to be so ugly?

Jay finally went to bed so I'm doing the night shift vigil.  I just checked on Mooska (9:15 PM).  She moved so I had to search the pitch black back yard to find her.  I discovered her by the stone steps.  I replaced the blanket on her and added another blanket.  The wind is howling up here at our place so it's icy cold.  I'm so afraid she's going to die cold.

Another check at 9:45 PM.  No change.  It's so cold outside.  I don't want Mooska to die alone, but it's just too cold to stay outside with her for long.  Jay must feel the same way.  At 10:15 PM Jay got out of bed, dressed and headed outside.  He came back in carrying Mooska.  No easy task because she's almost literally dead weight.  I'm glad she's in the house.

Wind gusts up to 55 miles per hour tonight in our part of La Grande.  I'm so happy Jay carried Mooska into the house tonight.  She hasn't moved from where Jay laid her in the living-room.  It's midnight.

Mooska came into our bedroom at 2 AM, and lost the contents of her stomach.  She's breathing really hard and seems listless.  We cleaned up the mess and went to back to sleep.  

At 8 AM, January 2, 2012, we took Mooska to Dr. Omann.  She was running in doggie heaven just minutes later.  We miss her already.

I'm very thankful we've always had two dogs at a time that were different ages.  After we left Mooska's body at the vet for disposal we came home to Bandon waiting for us.  This is the third Elkhound we've lost, but we've always had another one at home waiting for us.  We are going to look for another Elkhound from a national Elkhound Rescue Organization.

Our first Elkhound "rescue" was an older dog by the name of Tiki.  It was just before Christmas, and I was taking professional Santa photos at a mall.  A woman came into the mall with Tiki, and asked if I would take a photo of the dog with Santa.  This woman was providing a foster home for the elderly dog until a permanent home could be found.  I couldn't believe my eyes because I thought we were the only people in the valley who owned a Norwegian Elkhound.  I took Tiki's photo with Santa, and discovered what a sweet dog she was in spite of a rather traumatic history.  I asked for the woman's phone number, and told her I'd be talking to my husband about the possibility of adopting this animal who had suffered abuse and neglect.

We both felt God wanted us to take Tiki into our family.  Tiki lived with us just a few years, but she had a tremendous impact on our family.  Tiki was a victim of abuse and neglect so she had many quirks, but that's what we loved about her.  She was afraid of men, so she became MY dog, and wouldn't leave my side.  Tiki LOVED, LOVED, LOVED car rides!  We never went anywhere in the car without her.  Because she'd gone hungry many times in previous years she'd often sneak food out of the lower cupboards, even flour or a can of Crisco.  We got quite a laugh out of some of the things she put in backyard holes which she'd dug for a "rainy day".  We were able to make her last couple of years happy ones so it was highly rewarding for us to make this remaining time happy.  I'm expecting wonderful things to happen when God brings another Norwegian Elkhound into our lives to rescue!

NOT READY FOR A BABY

At my husband's urging I became pregnant with our first child. I wasn't ready to be pregnant much less have a baby. This is an understatement. I was so NOT ready that I ignored my changing body. I didn't eat properly. The first four months I actually lost weight because I became anorexic. I made no preparations for this new life; no reading, no questions for the doctor, no classes. We were both young and naive which partially played into my emotional unpreparedness. However the biggest issue to my inability to accept being pregnant was experiencing sexual abuse as a child. I simply didn't want to acknowledge the idea that I could give birth. So neither my husband nor I gave any thought to all the items a baby would require. 

To complicate things I went into premature labor, and in just four hours gave birth to a six week premature baby girl. Suddenly my denial of pregnancy came to a swift halt. That's when it dawned on me we were not physically prepared for this life changing event. We had no baby furniture or clothes or even a diaper pin. Nothing! And we had no money to purchase these things. My husband worked as a minimum wage gas station attendant, so we lived from paycheck to paycheck. We had not been given any baby showers by friends or family because we'd told so few that I was expecting. Many of you reading the above may find all this very bizarre, but I swear it is the truth.  I had no choice but to turn to God for help.

Because Tabitha weighed only 4 pounds 6 ounces she stayed in the hospital a few extra days then I did. On one of our visits to the nursery I began a conversation with another young couple who had just had their first baby. Their circumstances were very different from ours. They were both hard working professionals who had been trying to get pregnant for many years. They finally succeeded, and immediately went out and purchased everything for the nursery and baby. Colleagues, and friends, and family gave them numerous baby showers as well! When I told them about our unpreparedness (I didn't mention our lack of funds) they asked if they could send over some things to our home. I responded, "Sure".

The very next day a truck arrived with a very large appliance box in the back. It was dropped off, and they were gone before we could open it. I was astounded to find this couple had generously packed this enormous box full of brand new baby items for ages birth through one year of age! Inside was literally EVERYTHING we could possibly need for our baby's first year of life; clothes, bedding, cloth diapers and even the smallest of items like bath products and diaper pins! I wept at God's goodness to us, and how He used these new parents to help us.

I also want to add that although Tabitha was carried by a malnourished mother who got very little prenatal care, and although she was born six weeks prematurely God brought her into this world with perfectly functioning lungs and ready to thrive! The doctors were amazed that she had no physical problems other than being very tiny. We took her home at just five days old, in spite of being under five pounds, because she was doing so well! Tabitha throughout her life experienced excellent health, and at 38 years of age continues to thrive! 

On another note, I want to add that in the years which followed God taught me how to accept my body, my femaleness, and my baby daughter, Tabitha. Although damaged by childhood abuse God watched over me, and took care of me as I entered adulthood with issues that had to be dealt with. And He lovingly took care of me, and my family while I grew emotionally, and spiritually strong!  But that's another story!

Tabitha turns 39 in September!  She works as a dedicated flight attendant for Southwest Airlines.  Tabitha enjoys great emotional and physical health, and her and I have a wonderful relationship!  There are no apparent scars from her rough first couple of years.   

What needs are you facing which you can't possibly see a solution for?  What hinders you from bringing this request to the Lord?  The Bible says, "We have not because we ask not".  What's stopping you from asking?  

A SON'S GENEROSITY

Enoch was in first grade.  He was a sensitive child and very concerned about other people’s feelings.  We attended a small church of about 75 people of all ages.  One Sunday after the service I watched Enoch head to the back of the church to “visit” with an elderly woman I really hadn’t noticed before.  She was dressed in extremely worn clothes, and her coat looked as though it could hardly keep her warm during the bitterly cold winter.  As they finished talking Enoch ran back to me, and spoke with great conviction that next Sunday “we need to bring that old woman a pair of socks”.  He said it with such firmness that it never occurred to me to argue with him.  The next Sunday Enoch quietly headed to the last pew where the old woman always sat, and gave her two pair of socks which we had picked out for her.  

On our way home from church Enoch again spoke with great conviction when he remarked, “We need to bring that old woman lunch next Sunday”.  Amazed, all I could think to say was, “Are you sure?”  He didn’t waver, as he assured me we needed to bring her food.  That week we collected some non-perishables in a box, and took the food to church with us.  The old woman was not at church that day so we got her address and drove there.  The only word that comes close to describing her home was “shack”.  Enoch had sensed what I was just now realizing which was the poverty this women lived in.  The woman was not at home so we left the box of food by her door with a hand written note by Enoch telling her who it was from.  We saw the old woman a few more times before she simple disappeared from our lives.  

What did I learned from my 7 year old son through this encounter?  I learned to not just notice people, but to really see them!   I learned to help others when we have the opportunity because we never know when they will disappear from our life.  I learned to trust the intuition of my son, and to respect and encourage his compassion for others. 

Enoch turns 35 in March.  He’s never lost his concern for others.  During college he worked with an organization in Spokane that provided meals for homeless and other indigent folk, and he spent some time with Peace Corps.   Enoch has always preferred to use his computer skills working for non-profit organizations which assist people in one way or another.  The last time I was with Enoch at a restaurant in Boise he got up from the table, and headed outside when he noticed a blind woman who was having trouble finding her bus.  Enoch hasn’t changed a bit from that boy who noticed the old woman in the back pew those many years ago.  And I strive to be as observant and caring for others as he is.

                 

A THEFT GROWS FAITH

It was 1984. I was living with my ex-husband and three children in a cabin at Camp Elkanah. We cut and carried wood for heating and cooking. We pumped and carried water for drinking, and bathing. We received $400 a month to be the caretakers of this Christian camp, and gas for our car was provided as well. It was a time of depending on God to meet our daily needs, and He always did! But there is one time specifically that still amazes me! 

I went to the laundromat in La Grande regularly because of no running water at Elkanah in the winter. I had thrown the kids three handmade quilts into the dryer, and went next door to visit with a friend while they dried. When I returned all three quilts were gone. They had been stolen. My heart broke because we had no money to replace those quilts, and it was a cold winter. 

I kept this loss to myself, and prayed that God help me recognize that whoever took the bedding might need it more then us. A few days after the theft (literally) a church brought us a "love gift" of food, and money, AND THREE HANDMADE QUILTS even nicer then the ones the kids had before! I'm grateful tonight for the difficult financial times in my life, because it has been during those times that God has revealed Himself to be completely worthy of my trust and faith!

A CHILD'S VIEW

 It was a few days before Thanksgiving and my three pre-school children, and I were shopping at the old Safeway where the Union County library sits now. I shopped with food stamps, but my kids were oblivious to what that meant. 

Outside Safeway sat a large barrel with a sign asking for donations for holiday food baskets. My kids were curious as to why there was food in the barrel. I explained these items were for needy children so they would have food for Thanksgiving Day. My three young offspring became excited, and unanimously agreed we should buy some food to put into the barrel for the "poor people". These young children had no idea we were poor, that we qualified for government surplus cheese, milk and butter, that we depended on church "food pantries" around town at the end of each month when the food stamps were gone, or that we would be one of the families receiving a Thanksgiving basket. 

How amazing my kids thought we were rich. What could I do but agree with them to make a donation to the barrel. In Safeway we carefully choose several food items which the kids approved of because they thought the poor children would enjoy them. Oh, to have the gratitude my brood showed that day so many years ago while we lived in poverty! They felt rich because in their minds and hearts they were rich!

MY MOST JOYOUS CHRISTMAS

The year was 1981, the month was December, and I was dreading all the holiday festivities.  It was looking like a dim Christmas for our family; a very dim Christmas indeed.  My husband was unemployed, and as a full time mom of three preschoolers I knew there was no money for gifts or special holiday foods.  I wasn’t even sure we would be able to come up with January’s rent.  I just wanted Christmas to be over.  But God had something very special in store for me.

The first Sunday of December found me in the evening service at my church.  As I got ready to leave I noticed a rather thin woman sitting in the last pew of the large sanctuary surrounded by four young boys.  Perhaps it was her sad eyes or the way she seemed so still in the midst of her animated youngsters, but I walked directly over to greet her.  I felt a little strange talking to this woman I didn’t know, but after just a few questions I knew this encounter was a God-ordained one.  I found out Naomi had just arrived in La Grande with her four sons (all under the age of ten), and she was running away from a domestic violence situation so she picked this state and town where she knew no one.  She’d left with some clothes and her precious boys, but nothing else.  A man in our church was providing her with a home until she could get back on her feet.  I was overwhelmed by her dark, sad eyes with heavy circles underneath.  The lights in the sanctuary were turning off, but I knew God wanted me to learn more about this woman.  At the door to her car I asked if I could come to her home the following week, and she gave me her address.  

I shouldn’t have been surprised by what I witnessed at Naomi’s home, but hearing and seeing are two different things.  In the kitchen was a metal and formica table with four chairs, a bare bulb hung from the ceiling.  The cupboards were mostly empty except for some boxes of cereal and a large can of ground coffee.  The refrigerator had a gallon of milk, and the counters were bare except for a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter.  All the dishes were dirty.  There were a few pieces of furniture in the living room, but no rugs on the cold wooden floors.  The attic where the four boys slept had three worn mattresses lying around with a tattered blanket on each.  There were no toys, just piles of dirty clothes thrown everywhere, and a Sears catalogue that had been shredded by playful boys entertaining themselves.  There were no curtains, no pictures, no frills.  This place was as sad as the woman living here.  

Naomi suffered from abdominal pain and severe headaches, but wouldn’t go see a doctor because she was afraid they would find cancer and take her boys away from her.  She was terrified of losing custody of her sons.  They were her whole life.  What worried me the most was the coffee enema “treatments” she gave herself several times a day for the cancer she feared she had.  And she was obviously malnourished.    

On my way home I asked God, “What can I do?  How can I make her Christmas better?”  At home I couldn’t get Naomi off my mind.  I wanted so badly to help her and her sons, but how?  I thought how silly I was for feeling sorry for myself.  Here I was healthy, and married, and with loving extended family.  This woman had none of those things, and lived with much less then myself.  Yet I had no resources to help her.

God whispered to me in the night that I was a member of a large and compassionate church with many who did have resources.  What if I created a list of items needed by this family, and ideas of how to make this a wonderful Christmas for them, then share this list with my church family?  By the next day I had that list, and a meeting set up with our active group of generous women in the congregation.

  

On the list were obvious necessities like toilet paper, detergent, dish soap and the many things which food stamps don’t cover.  The women were quick to offer bedding, kitchen supplies and baked treats for the boys.  One husband suggested getting a tree, and his wife wanted to decorate it.  I shared the boys’ ages (all under ten) and told them there were no toys in the house so it was agreed to make this a special Christmas for them by gathering gifts.  I collected all the items coming in on a daily basis.  My excitement mounted as the generous offerings poured in from my church family.

During the three weeks before the big day I had almost daily contact with Naomi; if not in person then by phone.  She was lonely, sickly and worried.  Her pain grew worse in the middle of the night, and twice she called at 3AM in tears.  The third time it happened I asked, “Do you want to go the hospital?” and she responded yes.  Childcare was arranged, and Naomi had many tests done as an inpatient.  She was greatly relieved to discover there was no cancer, but she was suffering from exhaustion.  After a few days of TLC (tender loving care), and restful sleep, and no coffee enemas she came home to her boys ready to be mom again.   

Naomi and her boys planned a visit to her sister about 100 miles away the week before Christmas.  I convinced her to leave me the key to her home so I could make sure the pipes didn’t freeze.  That gave all of us ladies from the church several days to clean the home, do all the laundry, make up the beds with new sheets and blankets and pillows.  The kitchen was thoroughly cleaned, and the cupboards and fridge were stocked with food.  New towels hung in the bathroom, and bubble bath with fancy soaps sat ready.  A freshly cut evergreen reaching to the ceiling was brought into the living room, decorated, and many wrapped toys placed underneath.  When these women actually saw the barren home we began to receive rugs and hanging pictures and brightly colored tablecloths.  The final touches were a handmade wreath on the door, and a fresh arrangement of greens in the center of the festive red-covered kitchen table!  I’ve never enjoyed cleaning and decorating so much in my entire life!

Several of us were there when Naomi and her boys got home.  At first she was upset to find people in her home.  That initial reaction quickly faded as she began to notice the transformation of her house into a home.  Naomi couldn’t speak, but the four boys did all the speaking for her.  They were ecstatic; running from one room to another shouting out their discoveries to each other and their mom.  I treasure that happy memory.

What I thought would be a dim Christmas turned out to be the best Christmas I’ve ever had.  And all because I focused on giving to someone who had much less then myself.  God used Naomi and her family to teach me a great lesson.  The following spring Naomi moved away to go into nursing school.  I never heard from her again.
  

Every Christmas I think of Naomi, and wonder where she is and how she is doing.  And I’m always filled with warm thoughts of that very special Christmas!

Are you facing a difficult holiday?  Look around.  I bet there is someone in your circle of influence that is also facing difficult times, and dreading the holidays as a result.  What can you do?  How can you touch their lives?  Reach out!  I promise it will change your outlook, and bring great and unexpected rewards.

Naomi and her four boys!