God taught me an incredible lesson yesterday. There have been many times in my life when I questioned my value to God. I questioned whether He would ever be able to use me, because I felt like such a failure and disappointment. Life had taken such drastic negative turns, and I simply couldn’t imagine that God would use me given my messed up life.
I pick my 92 year old mom up every Sunday for lunch, and yesterday God used her to teach me a valuable lesson. She told me she had gone to the thrift store, and bought a bunch of stuffed animals. I must admit, my first thoughts were, “Oh no! She’s losing it!” When I questioned her about the purchase, she told me there are a number of employees at the retirement facility where she lives that have young children. Occasionally they will bring their children in, and she wanted to be prepared to give them a gift.
She also plays “candy bingo” every week. My mom is a diabetic, and can’t eat candy so she puts her winnings in a box next to her chair, and whenever one of the employees comes into her apartment to do anything for her, she gives them a candy bar. Just a little something to show her appreciation.
Then, there is the lady who moved in a few months ago who doesn’t speak, and has a very difficult time eating. My mom observed her at lunch one day, and noticed she could hardly get the food in her mouth. She went over to her, sat down, and asked if she could help. Mother proceeded to feed this lady her lunch. Since then, whenever she sees her in the lobby or dining room she always goes over, and talks to her. Even though she can’t respond in any way, my mom just figures she must be lonely, and needs a friend.
This last week, she was telling a resident about a book she had read that my sister sent her. It was a book about angels, and how God uses them in our lives. The lady she was talking to said, “Oh that sounds like a book I would love to read, but my eyes are so bad I can’t read anymore.” My mom asked her if she would like her to come by every evening after dinner, and read a few chapters from the book. She accepted the offer with much appreciation!
I looked at my mom and said, “God has given you such an incredible ministry at Emeritus! You are really touching lives mother!” She shared with me that when she lost daddy a few years ago, and then hit her 90’s not long after he passed, she just didn’t feel as if she could contribute to society any longer. She felt useless! Then God began to open up opportunities to do these things for the residents and employees at Emeritus. But she never looked at it as a ministry until yesterday!
I went home and thought about my own life and how useless I have felt over the years. Especially the 4 to 5 years following my divorce. Even today, I sometimes question if God can use me! Then I am reminded of Joseph, abused and even sold by his own brothers. Abraham and Sarah were too old, but together a child was conceived. Moses ran from Egypt because he had killed a man. David was a boy who became a king. He had an affair, lied, killed an innocent man, then had to face his sin. Jonah ran from God, but could not find a place to hide. Job went bankrupt and lost everything. The Samaritan woman was divorced many times. Peter ,the Rock, denied Jesus three times. The disciples fell asleep when they were asked to pray. Zacchaeus was too small and despised as a tax collector. Martha worried about everything. Thomas was full of doubt, and Paul persecuted the Christians! Yet God loved them, healed them, and used them all!
It doesn’t matter who we are, or what we have done in our past. With Jesus Christ our Savior, the impossible can be done. It has nothing to do with how good or bad we are, or that our life may be a mess! It’s the fact that we can be changed by the blood of Jesus Christ. So the next time you (or I) question our usefulness to God, the next time we entertain the thought, “God can’t use me, I’m damaged, I’m not talented, I’m a new Christian and don’t know enough about the Bible, I’m not outgoing, I’m too young or too old, think back on all the people God used in the Bible to touch, heal, love, and share the good news of a loving God! If He could use a prostitute, a divorcee, a tax collector, and a murderer, He can certainly use you and me!
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do good things He planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10
Below is a photo of our mother (Neva Krueger), my sister, Jeannie, and I celebrating our mother's birthday in July, 2012.
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